Mardi Gras

Mardi gras
 
For the first time, I had a chance to experience Hawaii’s version of Mardi Gras with my best friend.  It was a good experience, we enjoyed oyster shooters, we were under a blue moon, listened to good music, ate hot dogs, and we met some cool companions. 
 
The thing about this experience was how it affected me, not the party in the streets but the emotions that came with it.  Walking around in the streets of China town made me analyze the kind of person I am.  I’ve been striving to become a woman who God created me to be, but in light of recent events…it’s making me question who I am as a person. 
 
See, there are things that I do enjoy and I’m struggling with grasping the ideas of following in light of God’s ways.  The very thing I struggle against, I don’t want to be so closed minded about the situation that it becomes and makes me into the very person I do not want to be.  We all have these things: it’s called sin. We label it differently but because I want to protect myself from judgment, it’s all sin. 
 
It’s ironic to go through last night’s experience, and knowing that it was to celebrate, in masquerade, the overturning of daily life; where it’s known to be the last night of eating richer and more fatty foods, in preparation for lent.  The fact that the celebration occurs as people dress up and put on masks represents the masks that I put on daily.  There are certain masks that I put on and for many, have not been able to see the true deep me. Understandably, we all do that, we all have certain things that we don’t allow others to see. 
 
During lent, many people may fast or give up certain foods or some have given up on certain activities.  On this Fat Tuesday, the day to basically splurge on things that are not necessarily healthy for our lives; I came to realize and begin to ask myself, am I ready for lent?  Not in the sense of just the next 40 days but for the rest of my life?  Am I ready to give up things in my life that are not necessarily healthy for me?
 
You see, I have been pondering these thoughts for a long period of time prior to last night and I have not reached a conclusion as of yet.   I hope one day soon I will gain that answer and it may change my paradigm from that point on. 
 
Until then, Cheers….