Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Camp Lokahi - Camp days

Over the last few days I had a chance to participate in Camp Lokahi on the Big Island. There were so many activities and things that the kids did.  From hiking, to flying kites, to crafts, to cupcakes, and to super big slides; these kids had the time of their lives.  The icing on the cake tho, is the joy of seeing them in chapel services worshiping: singing songs and dancing, just loving God for the opportunities that they have to be at camp.  For some of these kids, this retreat is a way to get out of their comfort zones and to learn more about God and themselves while being in the company of their peers. 

During the chapel services, Jay brought it home as they learned about their attitudes, how it affected the way they worship and love God, in their home lives and in school.  Each day they learned a concept based on the example of David: Obedience and Committment.  The final chapel night, Jay had prayed over the kids and some of the leaders.  It was so touching to know that God lives inside of each of them, each of us, that God is with us. 
As I reflect on this past week, God is so faithful in all he does. Camp Lokahi has been a long standing camp for many years and will continue to prosper and grow substantially. To all those involved: Victoria, Jay and Jenna, Liz and Ed, the aunties who cooked those wonderful meals each day, the LITs: Thank you so much for being a part of the work God's doing in and thru you! There are huge blessings to come, for our God is Faithful!

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Camp Lokahi - arrival

3-11-12.  3:41 pm

We arrived after a 45minute drive.  We are located at Makapala and it is so peaceful. Today is actually prep day, we are just awaiting for word on what we'll be doing and all that good stuff.  It truly is kinda exciting not knowing what's going to happen next...until then, since I do have quiet time, imma take a nap! 

10:30 pm

So today we got to meet all the staff, counselors, and L.I.Ts {leaders in torture - lol as the camp director calls them, "we torture the bad out of them!} It stands for Leaders In Training- these are kids who are too old to be campers but too young to be counselors or staff.  They say this camp is going to be different because there are more LITs than there are campers.  For now they have a count of 19, but there are others who said they wanted to come but have not turned in paperwork.  Honestly, I am a little scared about being a counselor.  The last time I did something like this was at HCWO for their JHi overnighter but I totally feel out of my element.  But this is exactly what I signed up for. I wanted and needed to be outside of my comfort zone, I wanted and prayed for God to bless all those involved, and my heart to be in the right place.  Tonight my anxiety about the status of my heart was confirmed, Liz, the kitchen staff said to "expect God to work in our hearts, altho this is for the kids, God will move in our lives just as well." 

Well, camp officially starts tomorrow, the kids arrive at 3 pm...until then, it's a good night! 


Sunday, March 11, 2012

It's a beautiful morning!

So the sun may not be as bright but today is beautiful!
I was reading in Psalms 31:3 "For You are my rock and my fortress; Therefore, for Your names sake, Lead me and guide me. (NKJV)Lord, let this be my prayer, that I get to stand on your rock and hide in your fortress, so lead and guide me. Let every word and every step I make be because of you. I love you!

Camp Lokahi starts today. I'm super excited and I know it's going to be wonderful!

In an hour and a half or so, I get to go to Victoria's church! It's gonna be awesome!


Aloha Kona!!!

The plane landed safe and sound altho there werea few air pockets of turbulence that we hit. I hate those parts of flying, that and the take off and landing.

For some reason, the air feels much more fresh and the scent of Kona is very floral. I didn't have to wait too long and Victoria's beautiful home was a short distance away. I can't wait to see her home during the day. After meeting her family, we chatted a bit: catching up on the various things going on at school and had a chance to talk to her mom about the YWAM campus. YWAM was a program I actually thought of joining before I came to NHCC.

Before bed I snuck outside into the back patio, there was a sliding door that lead out from the room I stayed in. It's so beautiful here, as I sit outside the air is fresh and cool, I hear the sounds of what I think is frogs {I was warned about them}, they have a rhythmic melody, the sky is filled with bright stars and a patch of green trees are off in the distance. Her home is located on the foothills of a mountain and I see lights down below. There is a house about a meter down hill, it's lights illuminate its surrounding.

Good night beautiful Kona, when I awake, I hope to see the vast beauty of God's creation here on the Big Island. Until then, sweet dreams....


Camp Lokahi - pre-day 3 Here I am...

Isaiah 6:8 "then I heard the Lord asking, "whom should I send as a 
Messenger it this people? Who will go for us? I said, "here I am, send me."

I'm here. I made it to the airport. With a lot of anticipation, I am anxiously awaiting my flight, I had to check in my bag because of my contact solution, shampoo, and body wash.  I knew better but had hoped for a different outcome? I ended up spending $15 out of the cash that was supposed to go out towards the kids, part of the money I raised during the fundraiser.  I feel super bad about it. I hope something will make up for it.  

Lord, I hope that the kids will be supernaturally blessed in this upcoming camp. Let these memories be forever instilled in their memory banks that they will not fall away from you.  I pray for laughter, good times, and a joy that will be etched in their hearts.  I pray for the leaders, staff, workers, my prayer partners, anyone involved that our hearts are in the right place, for your gain not for our selfish reasons.  Check my heart, remind me that it's not about me but it's all because of you and your kingdom.  In Jesus name, Amen.


Friday, March 9, 2012


Oh the joys of crafting and card making!  I had an opportunity to share my talent and supplies to my ignite group yesterday and the girls made super awesome cards!  We were short on time so I was unable to take pictures of their awesome creations but this one is made by Lauren, the sweetest, most bubbly woman of God!  I love her laugh and I look forward to seeing her beautiful smile.  I even love getting hugs from her, they are so welcoming!  The best thing about her and card making is that she's a beast at making cards!  The cards she's made are outstanding!  I can't wait to make more of them with her! <3

Camp Lokahi - pre-day 2

Lokahi in Hawaiian means "unity" which is to be expressed with harmony.  It's super cool that me going out there, I get to be a part of this harmonic uniting of hearts within kids and adults but most of all, the one who created us.  I googled Camp Lokahi on the Big Island and I found this video.  It so adorable!  I love how technology has given us the tools and resources just to do this...this makes me even more excited to go out there!  I can't wait!

Today's agenda is to have SBUX with the bestie, we received free oatmeal and I have a free drink coupon somewhere.  Oh, the joys of being a Gold Star member! 

I've had to write a book report on Wayne Cordeiro's Dream Releaser and as I hash out the final paper, I truely want my dreams released as well as become a dream releaser.  There are so many of my friends and people I know that have dreams hidden inside of them but life either tore it out of their hands or life left many scars that they are unable to heal; causing them not to be able to move on from that point.  I know I was like that: one who's dreams lay dormant because of the pain in my heart, the stones left behind, the heaviness of heart that I was unable to cope at times.  It's like when I was in my depressed season, when I felt complete apathy of life, I just wanted to end it all, not caring where I ended up in the after life.  It's a scary and dark place to be...but THERE IS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL.   Sometimes it's just harder to see past our feet when we are in those storms of life.  I know we HAVE  to go through those times.  I feel horrible for those times, not because of what I went through personally, but because I had to put my best friend and Richie through those times.  My family didn't understand, so most stayed at a distance.  Well, my mother was upset and sad because she didn't know what to do, especially those days when I attempted to take my life.

Things do get better...even though we don't want to hear it. I am glad for those times, looking back in my sorrow I am more grateful and more appreciative of my mom, Velma, and Richie because if it wasn't for their voices that I heard, I would have been successful at having the power of God: the ability to take my life away. 

Luckily, it all comes full circle...as I join in with Camp Lokahi, it's in the unity that will ultimately bring me to my knees and recognize that it's not about me, but the God who created me because He loves me. 


Thursday, March 8, 2012

Camp Lokahi - Fundraiser success!

Yay!  The Camp Lokahi fundraiser was a success!  The Big Island Fudgy Brownie was the first to go and everyone raved about the Kona Coffee.  I'm super excited because it made twice what I put into it!  God surely multiplies and I know that the funds raised will go exactly where it needs to go and I told each person who bought something that they are committing to a week of prayer for the kids, the camp and myself!

Ryan was so adorable when he bought 3 cupcakes and ate them all at the table!  He definately loved the Big Island Fudgy Brownie! 

Prayer request for day 1: pray that the funds raised will multiply and it will be used for what is needed!

Camp Lokahi - pre-day1

One step closer to the Big Island and Camp Lokahi.  I booked my ticket tonight:
 leaving Saturday evening and back on Friday midmorning. 

I'm doing a fundraiser at school today:
Big Island Fudgy brownies {Mac Nut brownie with a layer of peanut butter cream and milk chocolate icing}; Lokahi Lemon Poppy muffins; and Hawaiian Banana nut cupcakes with  a butter cream frosting, Kona Coffee, an assortment of hot teas, White Mocha and regular Hot Chocolate. 

Each item is $1 and each purchase the buyer has to commit to a week of prayer for the kids and myself.  :) lol...

So exciting!

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

Flying by the seat of my pants...

I'm so super excited to have an opportunity to serve God in a capacity where I get to be a part of Camp Lokahi, on the Big Island.  Yesterday, as I was going through some emotional turmoil, I realized that everthing that happens is not about me, but about a God that is greater than I. 

I sat in the Library crying out my eyes out for softening of hearts, compassion of those who hear of the situation-to be without judgement, and just plain love and respect.  I was wrong by leading on a person, physically-because i enjoyed the comfort of his arms around me; but through it all, i learned that it is not in the arms of another man that I should be running into...it is in the love of my Heavenly Father.  It's a daily struggle, to want to be content in my singleness, one that I want to desire and be happy in.  At times, it's a moment by moment, second by second fight: to take captive of my thoughts and actions. 

Today, as my spririts are lifted-i received a text reminding me to "not to forget to smile today", I was reassured that God is still on the throne and no matter what happens, it is he who soften hearts and in his sovereignty that all things happen.  God does answer prayers and today I also received a FB message verifying that the kids camp is still in effect.  I'm super excited! 

As I write a book report on Wayne Cordeiro's "The Dream Releasers" {which is a day late-because of my recent distractions}, I know that my dreams are slowly being released, and I too, can be a dream releaser: I just have to allow the process of the refinement that God is going to put me through, and be content in that. 

i <3 God

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

trains of thoughts crashing....

It's hard to stay focus when you go through a month of bliss; friendships that deepen into levels that I can't explain but knowing all awhile that what is needed is just that: a friendship in times of hurt, one to be there for you, to hear you out, to really follow through to what is being said. 

In this season of life, that is my self imposed prescription: friends.  Friends who do not judge, friends to have no selfish intentions, friends of no romantic interests, pure and simple friends.  I failed.  I FAILED in this.  I became friends with a special someone, we connected on a deep level but I failed because my actions were not correlating to my words.  I failed because I slowly opened up my heart to show the pain I have been in, and became more physical with my friend than appropriate.  See, I enjoyed the warm of his embrace, the comfort of his hugs, the security that he desprately wanted to offer me.  I became aware of how I've lead him on and on the road to correct that issue is where I was heading.  That's where it all came crashing down.  He was falling for me hard and I knew that I was not the one for him.  Yes, I broke his heart.  Yes, I truely value him as a friend and the person he is.  Yes, it was selfish of me to want to be in his embrace, his arms, to just be around him.  I failed at his friendship, as a person who should have respected his emotions.  A little too late. 

There are no words to excuse my actions.  I am sorry for putting him and my friends through this emotional turmoil.  I hope in time, altho my character and intergrity has been deeply slashed, that he could forgive me for leading him on the way I have.  I'm not making excuses, just voicing out my frustrations. 

Lesson learned: How are my actions dipicting the person I truely want to be?  Am I being and acting more like Christ in my thoughts and what I do? 

Lord, Im sorry for the hurt I've caused, I can not say I'm sorry enough for my actions and how I've been around others.  Forgive me for wanting to be wanted, forgive me for wanting to want to run into another man's arms instead of your embrace, forgive me for not focusing on you.  Only because of you I can find joy that I get to hide my face in your glory, you are the one to redeem broken bonds, and mend harden hearts.  <3