Tuesday, February 2, 2016

Breaking the Silence of Mental Illness

This past week, the worship pastor of the Rock Church in San Ysidro committed suicide.  I am deeply saddened by this news, the last time I saw him was three years ago when I visited San Diego.  They came by to where I was at to say hi.  It was a short and sweet visit but it was nice to see him and Brenda.  

There is a stigma on Depression and Mental Illness in the church.  I was subjected to this stigma when I initially got sick.  I was told I wasn't praying enough, I had "spirits" within me that was tormenting me, and I wasn't Christian enough.  This is NOT true.  Depression and Mental Illness has many reasons why it happens.  

Please watch Pastor Miles as he addresses this topic.  "What you suffer from does not define who you are." Click on the link and it will lead you to the message.  

Monday, February 1, 2016

It's now 2016!

It's been a long while since I've posted on this blog.  Since the last post, I've graduated from New Hope Christian College, which is now Pacific Rim Christian University, fell in love with the third love of my life, and have my own place I can call home.  Even though it's in the same house I've grown up in, I have a studio that is connected to the main house but it's good enough.

I finished school this past December and since then I've been just taking it easy.  The reason I stopped posting on my blog is that in 2012, I became sick with an illness that impaired my judgement, reasoning skills and had social anxiety.  I found out that I had a chemical imbalance that changed my reality.  Through the help of many doctors, I am now able to control my illness and live a somewhat balanced lifestyle.  At the time of my illness, I became very depressed to the point of having suicidal tendencies.  I lost all hope and became very apathetic towards life.  I took a break from school in 2013 and I fell in total despair.  Even though I was attending a Christian college and knew that God existed, I felt so disconnected and out of touch with reality.  No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't just "pray it away".  It was during this time that I met Mikey, my current boyfriend, who helped me through the whole process and most of all he was there for me the whole entire time.  Knowing that he was there helped me tremendously and I was able to go back to school and finish strong.  My relationship with God had changed, I doubted him and felt a loss in trust.  I'm beginning from square one, taking baby steps in trusting him again.

Things are looking up for me, I'm doing better and I hope I can keep up the feelings and emotions that I have.  It's a daily struggle and I need strength that only God can provide.  I still want to remember the things that happened these past few years, I know that because of my experience, I can one day encourage someone else who is going through the same things.  This leads me to maybe continue on to get my Master's degree in Social Work, hopefully making a difference in someone's life.  We'll see!